Chapter 4-Shedding

The blankets rustled faintly as Lloyd began to wake up, the smells of old books and ointment filling the air, he blinked awake. During the night he had shifted so that his head rested slightly above the pillow wall, which meant when he woke up the first thing he saw was her .

It had been a few days (like, three or four) since Lloyd had brought Harumi to the monastery, and she had been recovering well for the most part, her stomach still didn’t seem able to handle solid food yet, with their last attempt leaving Lloyd to blast Fritz Donnegan movie's at full volume on his previously forgotten phone to cover up the sound of Harumi vomiting into his wastebin, but she was able to keep down broths without issue, Lloyd was considering giving her one of those high-calorie protein shakes they kept, if her stomach could handle it, it would be a good way to get her back up to a healthy weight. (which Lloyd was concerned might be a deeper issue than he realised, there was no way she had lost that much from blood loss alone).

Harumi was getting her strength back as well, she was capable of fully sitting herself upright without assistance now, as long as she didn’t go too fast and tug at her stitches, and she had been able to stand and ‘walk’ with Lloyd supporting her weight, not for very long , but still! Progress!

She was sitting up in bed reading his mothers book, a faint smile playing on her lips as she read, her sharp jade eyes devouring the words held within. The morning light added a layer of softness to her features, not enough to dull her edge completely, though. 

Lloyd was mesmerised, heat rising to his cheeks as he tried to burn this moment into his mind. His time with Harumi before now was a whirlwind of love and heartache and adrenalin that left him reeling (and yearning for more), seeing her like this, simply existing in the moment, does something to his brain, a buzzing feeling building up at the base of his skull that makes all his thoughts turn syrupy-sweet.

He likes it.

Lloyd thinks, deep in the back of his brain, that he would do almost anything to make this moment last forever, where the world is blanketed in soft golden light and gentle quiet.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer”

Lloyd reeled, he blinked back up at Harumi to see she was smirking, her eyes still on the book, casually turning the page as if nothing had happened.

…How long had she known?

“Since you woke up” Her voice was still rough with sleep. “You snore, I noticed when you stopped” Her smirk grew a wicked edge. “You also mumble in your sleep, and when you're awake too, apparently”

Lloyd slapped a hand over his mouth, embarrassment bringing his blush all the way up to his ears.

After composing himself he sat up and stretched, his shoulders ached less today. Harumi looked better too, she looked less pale than normal, and her throat sounded less raw than yesterday. Her hair was still an issue though, Lloyd winced slightly as the matted strands caught the light, the top of her head was relatively fine with only a few visible tangles, her bangs and the locks framing her face had matting at the bottoms, but the still seemed salvageable, the lower half of her hair, however, was a single mass of tangles, dyed a deep red with her own dried blood which had mixed with the dust of the collapsed building and seemed to have hardened into a concrete-like substance, it looked dire. 

But Lloyd had a plan.

He and the Ninja were starting to patrol again today, there was some big announcement the Police chief wanted to make outside Borg tower and Lloyd had volunteered with Kai to keep watch to prevent things from getting out of hand, and the others would all take the night patrol, and since Kai had said he wanted to spend the night ‘getting some extra training in’ AKA ‘reading all those trashy rom-coms in his room under his blanket with a torch like a nerd’, that meant Lloyd and Harumi would have the entire monastery basically to themselves, the perfect opportunity to sneak her into the bathroom to deal with her hair.

And when Lloyd relayed his plan to her, he can say in hindsight he probably should have seen that book coming.

It wasn’t his mothers, and thank FSM for that , that thing was at least five kilos. But the corner of the spine of the flimsy paperback Harumi had chosen as ammunition still hit him dead-on the bridge of his nose, which hurt no matter how you slice it.

He covered his nose to protect it from further assaults. “Oh come on! I thought this was a good one!” It had become a way of communication between the two of them. Lloyd would propose an idea, and if Harumi found something she didn’t like, she would throw things at him. 

It was an effective system.

She huffed. “There's too many variables out of our control, you're hinging this entire thing on the idea that no-one else will be here but us, Kai and your uncle, and that they'll both stay in their rooms the whole time. What if it’s a slow night and the others turn in early? Or Kai decides he’d rather watch TV in the lounge room?” She crossed her arms, mindful of the drips still connected to her hand. “Your taking too many risks for something that we could easily delay until a better time because you're getting impatient and you know it”

Lloyd averted his gaze, keeping his hand up so she couldn’t see the chastised frown on his face. She was a brilliant tactician, and she knew it. It was one thing to be on the other side of it, watching as his enemy countered his every move with vicious precision, always matching him blow for blow until the bitter end. But it was an entirely different ball game when they were working towards a common goal (and, oh , how that thought made his stomach do flips), her keen eyes picking out flaws and holes in his reasoning that he wouldn’t have seen until it was too late. 

Now, Lloyd was no slouch when it came to his planning, don’t get him wrong, but one of the problems with being as in sync with the other ninja as he was is that if one of them didn’t catch something, the others probably wouldn’t either. But Harumi had no such blind spots.

“What the hell have you been thinking so hard over there huh?” Harumi asked.

“Just about how much smoother most of our battles would have gone if we had you there helping us plan” Lloyd smiled as Harumi huffed and turned away, a faint blush on her cheeks, it wasn't often that he got her on the back foot, so that just made the times he did (often via unexpected compliments) it was always that extra bit satisfying. And as he sat there basking in his achievement, an idea came into his mind.

“OK, how about this” Lloyd got up to his feet and went to rummage through his drawers, pulling out a slim tablet and walking back to hand it to her, it was an old borgtech one he had been given a while back but never really used. It didn’t have much in the way of features, being a stripped back version meant to be used when their systems were hacked, but it did have a calendar which was updated in real time with their patrol schedules and a news app. “I'm going to go on patrol, and while I'm gone you can use this” he gestured to the tablet. “To check the calendar to see if there's other days we can do this, and when i come back we can see how things are then, and if it’s all good, then i really think we should take care of your hair tonight, if not then we just go to the next time you think is best, sound good?”

Harumi took the tablet and tapped at the screen. Her eyes flicked across the screen. “I can work with that” she answered languidly, shuffling back to settle on her side of the bed, laying in the shallow divot her body had carved into the mattress (Lloyd had never been able to sleep soundly long enough to do that, always tossing and turning until the early light of dawn, he was a little bit jealous of Harumi’s apparent ability to sleep like the dead). She gave him a lazy two-fingered salute as he grabbed a clean Gi and made his way to the door (he had started getting changed in the bathroom since she woke up).

“Bye Rumi” he yawned. “See you tonight”

Lloyd heard what almost sounded like a quiet. “Bye Lloyd” as he shut the door and padded down the hallway.

Nah, must have been the wind.

~🩸~

Ninjago city buzzed with activity as Lloyd jumped from rooftop to rooftop.

Everywhere you looked, there was someone hard at work, moving debris, organising supplies, rebuilding destroyed structures, they all scurried about like ants.

But a majority of people were congregating outside Borg tower, a pulsing sea of bodies all staring up at a comparatively tiny podium, adorned with a crown of microphones all emblazoned with the logos of their respective news stations.

Some had broken off into their own smaller crowds, huddling around different forms of entertainment while they waited, street performers, display screens, and a few on the outskirts staring at…. Burning oil drums?

Yeah, ok, that was a concern, Lloyd pinged their locations to Kai so he could do a sweep and make sure it wasn’t getting out of hand, that was the whole reason they were here after all. 

Lloyd found himself a nice perch on the steel framing of a neon sign, letting him watch the crowd clearly, but giving him enough cover that no one could see him from ground level, which meant he didn’t have to worry about his fans for once. Lloyd had always thought his fans were… ok most of the time, but there were only so many times you could be swarmed when you were in the middle of chasing down a crook before resentment started to build up, and they just didn’t seem to understand it when he told them to back off . 

A deep sight left his throat as he let the tension that had been building up bleed out of him, unclenching his jaw and dropping his shoulders, he didn’t need to be thinking about this now, it would only get him angry.

He settled onto his haunches and watched the crowd languidly, it was unlikely that anyone would try anything so soon after the Sons reign of terror, they had been so swift and brutal in stamping out the competition that it had sent every single villain, whether they worked solo or were a rival gang, running for the hills, they wouldn’t be bothering them for some time.

But it wasn’t them he was worried about, he thought back to his uncle's warning, they had been vigilant, keeping their eyes wide for anything that could fit the description Wu had given, vague as it was, but nothing had come of it as of now. Yet his uncle's visions persisted, still vague, but getting more frequent, it was worrying.

And then there were the civilians, they had taken to reclaiming the city with a fervour that was bordering on fanaticism. They had always been quick to bounce back, ever since the Great devourer, but this time was different, more aggressive, more… ruthless , it seemed that the Sons takeover was the straw that had finally broken the camel's back, he remembered a few days ago when he had read a police report (Jay had made a backdoor into the police database years ago, back when they were still in danger of getting arrested for vigilantism, in order to keep track of what the cops knew, and simply ‘forgot’ to get rid of) about a recent sighting, detailing how the officer had needed to deploy tear gas to break up an angry mob of people before they lynched the terrified grunt.

The people of Ninjago now seemed to carry with them a rage like that of anxious prey animals, ready to snap at anything that looked like a threat and stamp it out with brutal efficiency, and if Lloyd was to be perfectly honest, it scared him how quickly they turned on anything they deemed ‘dangerous’. He remembered the time where he was the one they considered dangerous, back when he was just a child who wanted to belong somewhere and lashed out when he was met with rejection. Lloyd wondered what would happen if his younger self was met with the same mob mentality people held these days.

And even though there was no current threat for the people to rally against, there was still a charge in the air, a restlessness that called to mind an over-full powder keg.

And what better place for it to go off . Lloyd thought grimly. Then a massive crowd in the middle of the city?

Lloyd shuddered on his perch and re-focused on the podium, his mind kept slipping into dark places today, he needed to stay focused. He watched as a sleek black car pulled up behind the podium and the chief of police stepped out, flanked on either side by men in pressed black suits with earpieces and shades.

Lloyd watched as the commissioner took to the podium, the crowd falling silent as he tested the microphones.

“Good people of Ninjago,” he began. “We stand here today, after several months of great hardship and turmoil, united!”

The crowd cheered.

The commissioner continued on with his speech, praising the people for their resilience, gassing them up. Lloyd watched as the crowd started to amp up, pulsing with energy.

Lloyd brought a finger up to his earpiece.

“Hey, Kai, are you seeing this?” his voice calm and methodical as he watched the crowd start to resemble a mosh pit.

The feed crackled with static. “Yeah greenbean, I see it, should we ping for backup?”

“Not yet, we don’t want people to spook, we’ll just keep observing for now and keep the others on standby, sound good?”

“Got it”

The comm feed crackled again as the signal cut out. Lloyd sighed, feeling slightly guilty, he wasn’t lying about not wanting to spook the crowd, but he would be if he said that was the only reason he called off the backup, if the others came out now then it meant some of them would stay back at the monastery instead of taking the night shift, which meant he wouldn’t be able to help Harumi.

And he really wanted to help Harumi.

Not in a weird way! Just that she’d been through so much and he wanted to make sure she was ok, that by the end of this (whenever that was) she was healthy and happy, was that such a bad thing?

His attention was pulled back to the commissioner, it seemed he was wrapping up his speech. 

“Now, I understand that there is still much work to be done rebuilding our fair city, so I'll cut straight to the important part. I am proud to announce that the body of the leader of the terrorist organisation known as the sons of Garmadon, former Princess of the royal family Harumi Jade, has been located by search and rescue teams and she can now be declared legally dead!”

“What?”

Lloyd's confused whisper was drowned out by a deafening roar of cheers. He watched, shocked, as the people beneath him churned like a living ocean, throwing their arms up and screaming their jubilation to the heavens, oblivious to the ninja standing sentinel above them.

They thought she was dead. And they were cheering like they had all won the lottery, because they thought a nineteen year old girl had been crushed under rubble, left to bleed out scared and alone.

Lloyd's breath caught in his throat, like he had something caught in his craw he couldn’t cough up.

But Harumi wasn’t dead, she was back at the monastery (where he could keep her safe and sound) which meant the body they found belonged to someone else, but who? Some unfortunate bystander who just happened to look like her? Or was this a deliberate cover-up to boost morale, and there was no body at all? 

…Should he let Harumi know about this when he got back? 

‘And why would you do that?’ A thought that he knew was his, but not truly Him whispered from the depths of his subconscious. ‘ She has been through so much pain already, and you would expose her to this? This mockery and slander?’ The thought continued. ‘No, she does not need to see this, what she needs is to be cared for, to be treated with the tenderness she has always deserved, and only we are fit to provide it’ it grew insistent. ‘We waste our time guarding this rabble, let us return to our lady’s side, where we know we are meant to be’

Lloyd found himself nodding as the voice slunk back into the recesses of his mind, while there were some points he argued against (Harumi wasn’t some delicate maiden who needed shielding, for one, she was tough as nails and deserved to know about what was being said behind her back) he very much agreed that he wanted to go back to her, it had been hours since he left, what if she needed him?

But just as he turned to leave, a large gout of fire burst from the back of the crowd, dark smoke wafting out in great plumes, the acrid stench of burning gasoline clogging his nose.

“Kai, I've got a situation at the back of the crowd towards main street, meet me there” he barked, jumping from his spot on the sign to clamber back up to the rooftops, breaking into a run.

“Already here Lloyd, uh, maybe you should just let me handle this one man, y’know, master of Fire and all that” Kai’s nerves were clear through the comm feed, which only made Lloyd run faster, his teeth gritting in agitation. If Kai was trying to stop him from getting there, it was probably because he was trying to ‘shield’ him from something he thought Lloyd shouldn't see. A protective older brother looking out for his errant younger sibling, never mind the fact that he was potentially putting himself in danger by trying to handle this on his own, even elemental masters of fire could be burnt if the flames were hot enough.

And that was what really frustrated Lloyd, the fact that his family kept putting themselves directly in harm's way in an attempt to protect him, completely careless of how that made him feel. Did none of them consider what would happen if he lost them? How seeing them sacrifice themselves for him would tear his heart to shreds?

He was sick of them acting like their survival wasn’t as important as his.

And the fumes, Lloyd was also getting sick of the noxious fumes that were making their way past his mask as he arrived where the great fire was burning, jumping down into the crowd where Kai had herded the civilians away and was encouraging the fire to burn down. Lloyd walked past him to see what it was they were burning.

“Lloyd, wait!"

But it was too late.

A majority of the fabric making up the human-sized doll had been charred black by the flames, starting from the large wooden pole it was tied to and working outwards, but there was enough for who it was depicting to still be recognisable: pale ‘skin’, dark robes, long white hair made of yarn, it even had the red facepaint scrawled messily over the top half of its rounded head, large black button eyes pinning him in place with their hollow gaze.

Lloyd felt sick. It wasn’t from the fumes this time.

The burnt effigy of Harumi slumped downwards as the charred ropes affixing it frayed and snapped, and without even thinking Lloyd rushed forward to catch it before it could hit the ground.

He gently laid the simulacrum down on its back, feeling a noxious cocktail of shock, rage, and despair blooming across his soul like mould on a fruit as he stared into the hollow depths of its plastic eyes, before several sudden bright flashes and shuttered ‘clicks’ broke him from his stupor.

Paparazzi had swarmed around him like blowflies, Lloyd stared dumbfounded as they pushed past each other to try and get a better angle of him, reporters and their cameramen gathering behind them, having wandered down from the commissioners podium when they heard the commotion, primping and preening in the off chance they were able to catch him in an interview.

Something burst inside of him when he saw it, not in an explosive way, like a dam suddenly breaking apart and releasing a flood, but quietly, gently, like a pile of snow sliding off a roof and onto the ground. A silent avalanche.

‘How dare they?!’ The thought welled up again, like a distant thunderclap. ‘How DARE THEY!’ It roared against his temples, anger thudding against his skull like a beast slamming against the bars of its cage.

In a flash, he used Spinjitzu to fling himself up onto a nearby roof, the gust of air knocking the wall of Paparazzi to the floor, the sounds of the expensive flash bulbs of their cameras shattering ringing out like gunshots in his ears, he landed with a thud and sprinted forward, not stopping until he reached an apartment building a few blocks away  and stood himself next to the industrial fan. He knew Kai would be following after him any minute, and he didn't want Kai to see him curled on the ground, cowering like a frightened animal, being proven all too right in his decision to try and shelter Lloyd.

A bitter, acidic taste welled up in his mouth as he fought to keep his breathing steady, he wouldn’t let Kai see him like this, he couldn’t , he was the team's leader, he needed to be better than this.

He had only just managed to compose himself by the time his brother arrived, landing next to him in a flash of burning light.

“Lloyd!” he approached him slowly, like he was afraid he would bolt, he crept closer until he gingerly set a hand on his shoulder. “You ok?”

Lloyd swallowed and smiled, his anger still simmering beneath his skin, he wanted to go back, to scorch that fake to ash and watch the people who made it choke on the fumes for their insolence, but he didn’t, because he was the Green Ninja, and the Green Ninja was kind to civilians and left any kind of punishment to the police (no matter how badly he wanted otherwise).

“I'm fine, Kai” he felt a hollow open up in his chest, like something inside of him was collapsing. “It just… Caught me off guard, is all”

Kai winced, but didn’t say anything. 

The world was awash with the golden light of sunset, the clouds were a riot of pinks and reds, a bright send off for the setting sun. Lloyd hands curled into clenched fists.

“They were celebrating” He turned to face his brother. “Because she died” The lie felt bitter-sweet on his tongue, because while a jealous and petty and protective part of him savoured the fact that he was right to hide her away where she was safe, the rest of him was left disappointed and horrified by the danger that was posed by those he was meant to protect.

Kai’s expression twisted slightly, looking at Lloyd in confusion, like he was staring at a painting he couldn’t quite understand. “Well, yeah, I mean the doll was kinda messed up, but can you blame them Lloyd? She was a monster” 

“She was nineteen ”

The bite in his words surprised them both. A pregnant silence dominating the air as they locked eyes, Kai’s gaze softened before he wordlessly pulled Lloyd into a hug, squeezing him tightly. “It’s getting late” his voice was soft next to Lloyd's ear. “Let’s go home, Pixal and her Mini’s can handle clean-up here, plus, the others will be gearing up to leave by the time we get back” 

Lloyd nodded, letting his weight sag into Kai, he felt so… worn down , like his soul had been scrubbed with sandpaper until the whole thing was tender and raw. He wanted to go home.

He wanted Harumi.

So he didn’t protest when Kai linked their hands together and started leading him on the long walk back to the mountain.

~🩸~

She heard him before she saw him.

His footsteps, normally silent, thudded heavily against the wood flooring of the hallway, slow and lumbering. Tired. 

Must've been an interesting patrol, then.

Not that she didn’t already know that .

Harumi kept watching her tablet as Lloyd slunk his way into the room, using his foot to slide the door shut behind him, she could see out of the corner of her eye that he looked as exhausted as he sounded, it brought to mind the image of a crumpled paper cup.

She let her gaze rest on him fully as he caught on to the news broadcast she was watching.

“-Alarming images this afternoon as a group of troublemakers set fire to a mannequin made to look like the now dead terrorist, Harumi Jade. However, before things could get out of hand, our beloved Green Ninja swooped in to reprimand the hooligans while the Red Ninja dealt with the fire. The Ninja were unable to stop for interviews, and the mayor hasn’t commented as of yet. Now here's Matt with the weather-”

Lloyd trembled as the news anchor's voice droned on, his eyes vacant and elsewhere, not quite focusing on her. He held this expression as he walked around to her side of the bed, before reaching over and tapping the ‘off’ button, letting his arm fall limp afterwards.

Huh. He was more upset than she thought.

She was about to teasingly ask him if he ‘had a rough patrol’ when he suddenly collapsed to his knees with a pained keen, sobbing into her lap with great, shaking heaves.

Harumi stilled, this… wasn’t what she was expecting, she knew Lloyd would be upset but not… not this much.

Slowly, she moved the tablet down to the bedside table, then after hesitating for a moment she wrapped her arms around him in an awkward hug, one hand landing on his shoulder while the other landed in his soft blonde hair, using her nails to itch at his scalp.

Lloyd whined like a kicked dog and leaned his head into her touch, burrowing his face into her stomach, his tears soaking through her shirt and dampening her skin.

Harumi didn’t know how long she sat there, cradling his head as he cried, but by the time he finally sniffled and stood up, it was dark out, faint moonlight fluttering through the window. Her heart twisted as he rubbed at his puffy eyes, seeing Lloyd like this felt… wrong, somehow. She had seen him defeated before, broken, even. But that was because she WANTED him to feel that way, and made it happen. But this was different, she hadn't done this to him, some random people on the street did this, a group of random, ordinary people had hurt him so badly, and they weren't even trying .

That wasn’t right, they didn’t know Lloyd, not like she did. They didn't spend years meticulously plotting his downfall, they didn’t double cross him in the most emotionally damaging way possible. They didn’t study every facet of his tender, bleeding heart so they could know the best way to rip it to shreds. Harumi did that, Harumi should have been the only one who could hurt Lloyd like this, the fact that these, these amateurs had managed to hurt him like this, that they would leave a mark on him, without even wanting to, it was a slap in the face. She couldn’t stand another moment of seeing tears trailing down his face, not when she wasn’t the one who made them fall.

She needed a way to cheer him up, fast.

“Do you still want to help me with my hair tonight?”

Lloyd worked best when he was busy, she had learned, when he was left alone with nothing to focus on his mind started turning in on itself like an ourobouros, but when he was given a job to do he was as happy as a lark. So Harumi gave him one.

And it worked, Lloyd unfurled like the petals of a blooming flower, his eyes shining like gemstones as he busied himself with getting her ready to walk down the hallway to the bathroom.

Well, ‘walk’ was a strong word, it was more like an awkward bunny-hop as she tried to keep herself steady and keep weight off her cast, it would probably just be easier for Lloyd to carry her, but her battered pride demanded she at least try to walk there.

It was slow going, with both of them stilling at the slightest noise, tense like prey animals hiding in the underbrush, but eventually they made it to the tilled sanctuary of the bathroom. It was big, and had to be for a house with this many people, the floor and the top half of the walls were tiled white, while the bottom half were mint green. In the back right corner, there was a large shower head with no glass separating it from the rest of the bathroom and a drain beneath it and a small wooden stool off to the side, a bathtub to the left of that, and in the leftmost corner, a toilet, which strangely enough was in its own little booth with a curtain to cover it, and in the middle of the left wall was a double sink vanity, cluttered with toothbrushes and toiletries. It was as big as the bathrooms in the palace were, but while those were sterile tombs filled with marble and gold filigree, this one looked like one that was actually used .

It was nice.

Lloyd led her over to the sink, letting her lean on it and checking to see if she could support herself before ducking back out into the hallway to ‘grab something’. Letting the door shut behind him with a quiet ‘click’.

Harumi steadied herself as she heard Lloyd's hurried footsteps fade out, her arms trembled and her leg shook, she scowled at herself in the mirror. One tiny walk down the hallway and she was already exhausted? God, she was pathetic . She had led a gang, conquered a city, resurrected an Oni warlord as her thrall to do her bidding (for all the good that did her) and now she was reduced to needing someone to help her wash herself, like she was some sort of cripple. 

'but you are crippled, dear' A thought that sounded uncomfortably like the Empress hummed in her mind, causing her to deepen her scowl further, and just as she was unsure if she would punch the mirror out of frustration or her legs would give out from exhaustion, the door opened.

Lloyd bustled in, his arms laden with supplies, scissors, cling wrap, a step-stool, a comb, and a small hand mirror.

He hopped over to let her grab his shoulder, letting him guide her to sit down on the wooden stool next to the shower, letting her shoulders droop in exhaustion as he used the step-stool to prop up her cast before an embarrassed flush coloured his cheeks as he stared at her pants.

They were the same leggings she had been wearing when she fell, and as a result they were completely ruined, crusted with blood and dust, torn at the hem, and Lloyd had cut one leg off entirely so he could put her cast on, which all meant there was no way they could get them off (and FSM above did she need this itchy thing off her) without cutting them off. And Lloyd, being a nerdy prude, was uncomfortable with the idea of cutting a girl's pants off (and probably also her underwear, Harumi doubted those were salvageable either at this point).

So Harumi did what she does best, delegate.

“I’ll do it” she swiped the scissors out of his hand. “And how about this, you just focus on dealing with my back and my hair, and I'll handle my front, sound good?” 

The relief on Lloyd's face was palpable as he nodded. He was about to turn to start the water before he stopped in place. “Oh, wait! I almost forgot!” He grabbed the cling wrap. “Can’t let your cast get wet!” he announced cheerily, lifting her casted leg up and wrapping it securely in layers of plastic, only stopping when he was certain every inch of her leg was covered.

Harumi readied her scissors as Lloyd started fiddling with the shower knobs, she flinched slightly as the water crashed down from above behind her, the air on her back chilled as the cold water sucked up all the heat while they waited for it to warm up. 

She started to cut from the waistband down, curling her leg up on top of the stool so she could reach her ankle, the fabric gave an audible ‘crunch’ each time she closed the scissor blades, flakes of dried blood falling to the floor like hellish snowflakes, Harumi cringed. Once the leg was done she went to the other side, where there was only the waistband, she snipped it off quickly and tossed the grimy fabric to the side, happy to be rid of it, doing the same with her shirt as well.

The water was finally getting warm as Harumi inspected her leg, it was filthy, covered in smears of dried blood, and a quick inspection confirmed that, like she suspected, her underwear was in the same state.

Without much thought, she cut them off at her hips and tossed them to the side, putting the scissors down on the ground when a shrill squawk startled her. She looked behind her to see Lloyd, who had stripped down to his boxers and was standing directly under the water, blushing beet red and averting his eyes. 

Harumi snickered, Lloyd was so funny when he was embarrassed.

Lloyd yelped as Harumi scooted herself backwards on her stool, making sure she dragged the step-stool with her, until the shower water pounded down on her back. She groaned as the hot water worked at her sore muscles, who knew laying in bed all day would make her back so tense?

There was a grumble behind her as Lloyd finished scrubbing himself off and started working on her, moving the tangled mat of her hair out of the way so he could scrub her back, working quickly to clean the grime off her skin. Once he had deemed it clean enough, he passed the loofah to her and grabbed the comb. They continued their work in silence for a few minutes until Lloyd spoke up.

“Your hair feels weirdly rough” he commented as he rubbed shampoo into her scalp.

“That’d be all the bleach” she replied lamely as she scrubbed across her collarbone.

“Bleach? You bleach your hair?”

“The Empress bleached my hair,” Harumi corrected. “Hurt like a bitch, too”

“When? Why? ”

“She started doing it about a week after I was adopted, and it was because when my building collapsed, I got a bunch of dust in my hair and it made it look white. So all the tabloids made articles about ‘the sweet little orphan with snow-white hair’ So once I was adopted and they saw my hair wasn’t actually pure white , the Empress thought she would ‘fix’ that.” 

Harumi chuckled mirthlessly at the memory, the way the Empress’s mouth was drawn into a thin frown as she inspected the young girl's then strawberry-blonde strands, still done up in two braids like her real mother used to do them. “I got in so much trouble the first time, the bleach was burning my scalp so bad I threw myself into the Koi pond in the gardens to try and wash it off, I got dinner taken away for five days, then I got another ten  added on top of that when the Emperor saw that all his precious koi fish had died because the bleach poisoned them” She curled in on herself slightly. “Yet neither of them stopped to think if that meant that maybe they shouldn’t be putting that on a child's scalp” she added bitterly.

“Harumi…” Lloyd’s voice was barely audible under the thundering sound of the shower. Harumi pretended the stinging she felt in her eyes was from the suds.

“It took a couple rounds until it was the ‘proper’ colour, I remember that after the first time she always had her handmaids there, holding me by my shoulders, she said it was to comfort me, but I knew they were really there to hold me down if I tried to run again.”

“And then they would all spend hours after each session lathering products into my hair to soften it so it didn’t feel like straw any more, and then she would style it for me, and I hated it because she would brush too hard and yank my head around until I had a crick in my neck. And even after they bleached it white I still wasn’t free of it because she insisted we had to do ‘touch ups’ on my roots once a month even though my hair only grows like, two centimetres a year because it’s probably all dead at this point” Harumi let out a weary sigh, one that spoke of many years of pent-up frustration.

“It wasn’t just my hair either, she micromanaged everything about my appearance, my make-up, my clothes, what I ate, the way I walked, what soaps I was allowed to use, everything . Did you know she made a 30-step skincare routine for me? And I had to do it every morning, or else I wouldn't get breakfast, and she could always tell when I skipped a step, somehow.” Another deep sigh “I think she was jealous of me, she always went on and on about how ‘lucky’ I was to have such a nice face, that I shouldn't ‘take it for granted’. I don't think there was a single day that went by in the palace where she didn't find something about my appearance to nitpick, nothing I did was ever up to her standards” 

It was then that Harumi remembered herself, and who it was she was speaking to. “Uh yeah, I mean-it was, you probably don’t-”

A pair of arms wrapped around her, the water running down her head and back being cut off as she was hugged from behind.

Lloyd didn't say anything. Didn't offer any empty apologies. Didn't urge her to continue. Just held her close, back to chest.

That broke something in her, that quiet acceptance.

Harumi choked on something she refused to admit was a sob. “God, I hated her so much, I still hate her so much”

“I know,” Lloyd mumbled into her hair. “I know, it's ok, Harumi” 

Harumi gripped his arms like a lifeline, not caring about the way her nails were surely digging into his skin. She shuddered once, twice, then stilled. Breathing deeply as she wrangled her emotions back into place.

Lloyd continued to be a steadying presence, humming quietly, gently rocking her side to side. 

“I get it, I get it, it’s alright” his voice was hoarse, like he’d been crying alongside her, knowing him, he might've been. “I understand”

Harumi snorted. “What's that supposed to mean? Are you telling me you're actually a brunette?” she ground out sarcastically, not at all in the mood for pity right now.

Lloyd ducked to the side of her, sheepish. “Well not like that exactly, but i understand how it feels to have people… change things, about you, without caring about how it makes you feel”

Harumi raised an eyebrow. “Can I ask how?”

“...ok, it’s only fair that I show you mine after you showed me yours, but just… let me explain before you say anything, ok?”

“Sure”

Lloyd walked forward and turned so his back was facing her, Harumi questioned what it was she was supposed to be looking at before Lloyd grabbed the waistband of his boxers and tugged them down.

“Is that a tail? ” Harumi asked, shocked, staring at the nub of flesh at the base of his spine. It was small, about as long as her pinky finger and twice as thick as her thumb, with pale green scales dotting its surface and a dusting of wiry blond hair at its base.

“...yeah, well, what's left of it anyway”

“My mom had it uh… removed, when i was a baby”

“Wait, she cut it off?!” 

“No, no! She docked it, y’know, when they wrap a tight rubber band around it to cut off blood flow so it dies off? The thing they do to dogs sometimes?”

“You mean the thing they made illegal to do to dogs because it was considered needlessly cruel?” Harumi shot back, equal parts shocked and angry. “Why the hell would Misako do this to you? Didn’t she love you or something?”

“She does love me” Lloyd's turned his head to glare at her. “That's why she did this, she was trying to protect me” 

“From what? ”

“From destiny "

“My mom knew that I was the green ninja of destiny from the moment i was born, and she was willing to do anything to stop my father and I from fighting, she thought that if she got rid of everything that wasn't human and hid me, she would be able to keep anyone from finding out who I was, what I was.”

“So you forgive her?”

“... no, not for this”

Harumi furrowed her brow.” you said she removed ‘everything’ about you that didn’t look human, does that mean there was more stuff than just the tail?”

Lloyd flinched. “Uh yeah, nothing as big as that though, apparently when I was a baby I also had horns? So she cut those out and cauterised the beds so they couldn't grow back” He said in a casual tone that seemed completely inappropriate considering what he was talking about. “Oh! And my tongue”

“What did she do to your tongue?” Harumi asked, genuinely horrified.

“It was forked when I was born, so she got the two prongs sewed together so it looked normal” He shrugged. “Also, my mom didn’t do any of this, she got doctors to do it”

“There are doctors out there willing to do this to a baby? ”

“There are doctors that are willing to give boob jobs to twelve year old girls, never underestimate the power of a bribe” Lloyd replied lamely. As if this was a perfectly normal conversation to be having.

“Lloyd, what the fuck, that's so much worse than having your hair bleached, what the hell”

“Ok, first off: Not a contest” Lloyd began firmly. “Second: if it was, yours would still be worse. All this happened to me when I was a baby, I don't even remember it, and my mom did it because she loved me. The Empress did all of that to you when you were nine or something, and she was doing it because of vanity”

“... speaking of, what do you want me to do with your hair? I’ve cleaned it best I can, and I can start trying to untangle it if you want”

Harumi thought about it. Actually taking the time to feel how her hair sat on her head, the way it’s dead, waterlogged weight dragged her head down. 

“Cut it”

“Hm?”

“I want you to cut it,” she declared with an air of finality.

“Oh.. ok!” Lloyd grabbed the scissors again and wandered back behind her, crouching down so he was level with her. “Just so you know, I've never really done this, so it might not be very good,” he said, readying the scissors.

“That's ok”

And with that, the cutting started. With each ‘snip’ of the scissors Harumi felt a weight leave her, both figuratively and literally. Ever since she had been adopted, her body wasn’t hers any more, only a tool for their image, a mask she wore. And when she became the Quiet One, that was just swapping one mask for another, sure it was thinner and allowed more of herself to to peek through, but it was a mask all the same.

But this? This was just for her.

With a final ‘click’ of the scissor blades, the mat of her hair fell away completely. She grabbed the mirror to check it. Before, it reached her hips, but now it went down just past her shoulders. It was a little rough and choppy, but she kind of liked the way it looked. Her bangs were still the same, but Harumi wouldn’t have let Lloyd do anything to them anyway, she liked her bangs, she did them herself, after all.

“Good job, Lloyd. You didn’t completely fuck it up” Harumi grinned cheekily at him through the mirror.

“...Gee, thanks” he replied in deadpan.

Harumi leaned back and let Lloyd wash her hair out one last time, basking in the novel lightness of her new bob, and enjoying the way his nails scratched at her scalp as he rubbed in the conditioner.

Once they were both rinsed off, Lloyd turned off the shower and went to grab some towels from where they were hanging on the rack. 

He draped one over her shoulders and wrapped another around his waist, turning to grab the pile of her hair off the floor. “Ok, we’ll go back to our room in a sec, just let me take care of this first”

And before she could question when the room changed from his to ours . Green light erupted from the pile of hair, sparks danced through the air as it was devoured by greedy emerald flames. Lloyd calmly walked over to where her ruined pants lay and dropped the hairball on top of it. Letting the acidic ozone smell fill the air, Harumi was surprised to find she didn't really mind the smell.

While it burned, Harumi gathered up the things they had brought into a small pile in her arms, wincing as her ribs twinged, but deciding to push past it, she was about to swing her casted leg down from the step stool before she suddenly found herself being picked up.

She could feel Lloyd’s body heat radiating through the towel, he had decided to carry her bridal style, so she was pressed up against his lithe chest with her legs dangling over the side. He smirked at her, his wet hair looking like strands of gold as they caught the light, framing his face in a way that could only be described as angelic.

Harumi huffed and turned away, hoping the hot shower she just had would excuse the flush on her cheeks.

Lloyd walked them out of the bathroom and back down the hallway, keeping a brisk pace as the cold mountain air chilled their damp skin.

He scurried back into his room (or their room now, Harumi supposed) and sat her down at his desk while he ducked over to the bed, where she could see two changes of clothes had been laid out. She deposited the pile of clutter in her arms on the desk as she waited for Lloyd to get dressed, starting to pick at a loose thread in her towel (it was a novel thing for her, in the palace anything like a towel or sheet was thrown out and replaced when it showed even the slightest hint of wear, none of her towels had ever lasted long enough to fray) in mild boredom.

Lloyd handed her her new clothes, a long cream nightshirt, plain women's underwear (which she was going to assume he stole from the water ninjas quarters) and loose, oversized basketball shorts; he'd probably grabbed the loosest ones he could find so she could pull them over her cast easier. She got dressed quickly, wanting to get back under the warm covers as quickly as she could, she slipped on the nightshirt and underwear easily enough, but she elected to leave off the shorts, they were big enough that even if she pulled the drawstrings as tight as it would go they would still fall down, and they were thin enough that they wouldn't provide much warmth anyway.

Plus, blue was not her colour.

She stood up, her arms wobbling as she braced herself against the desk, ok, yeah, walking to the bathroom plus having an emotional outburst seemed to have taken all the energy she had, and then some. 

Lloyd appeared behind her (because he had some kind of sixth sense for when she was about to fall, it seems), his hand grabbing her shoulders and keeping her upright, his pace steady as he guided her to lay down on her side of the bed- which had already had its sheets changed and blankets pulled back, because of course he found the time to do that- and then guiding her to lift up her cast so he could peel off the layers of cling wrap. Harumi let him do this, mostly because there was no point in arguing, but also because she was tired . Her body felt like it was made of lead, and once Lloyd pulled the covers over her, the possibility of getting up felt like a distant dream.

Harumi yawned as Lloyd plodded over to his side of the bed, and he yawned back at her, his fangs glinting in the light. Harumi felt a thorny vine of spiteful pride lash out at the sight, despite her best efforts, Lloyd’s mother couldn’t remove all of Lloyd's hybrid traits. Just like how the Empress couldn’t mold Harumi into her perfect dress-up doll.

With that thought in mind, and the feeling of her now shorter hair drying on the pillowcase, Harumi let sleep take her, content.

End notes