Chapter 7-Distance

Lloyd grunted as he hauled another crate into the Bounty’s cargo hold, he slid it into place next to its peers, lined up against the wall like soldiers. He wiped the beading sweat off his brow with a satisfied smile. He had been at it all day with Pixal, loading the Bounty with supplies for an extended voyage. Domu was only a week away by air, but Lloyd would rather have it and not need it than need it and not have it.

He walked back out to the loading dock and grabbed another crate, this one filled with medical supplies. His thoughts drifted to Harumi, who was still holed up in their room pouring over the Oni writings his uncle had given him, she had made decent headway translating, but they were still no closer to actually understanding what was coming. Harumi had read nearly everything there was to read about Oni, yes, but that didn’t change the fact that all the information they had about them either came from Garmadon, who had no reason not to lie about everything, or was thousands of years old and full of holes. So they were still flying pretty blind.

The wooden ramp up to the cargo bay creaked as Lloyd made his way back inside the belly of the ship, his mind adrift. This morning at breakfast, Wu had pulled him away to give him some ‘good news’ about his trip.

His mother, Misako, was currently in the city of Domu on an expedition. And Wu had told her he was coming.

Which wasn’t a bad thing! It wasn’t! Lloyd loved his mother, it was just….

… Complicated, between them.

He was little when she dropped him off at Darkleys, like, little little, like barely-older-than-a-toddler little (He didn’t remember the doctors, he was only a few months old when he’d had his horns removed and his tongue sewn, and his tail had been docked only a few hours after he was born). The only concrete memory he had of her before that fateful day was the image of her face as she held him in her arms while she was working on something, her chestnut brown hair interrupted by streaks of silver, her dark eyes held behind glasses and framed by scholarly crows feet as she squinted at whatever it was she was looking at (not him, certainly) with furrowed brows and a puzzled frown.

This image was burned into his mind over the course of years, as he lie alone in his firm dormitory bunk, as he fought against the urge to itch at his starched and scratchy school uniform, he clung to that still image of his mothers face, committing it to memory, the only proof he had of her existence.

Sometimes in those quiet moments, he would doubt, was that really what his mother looked like? Was her hair that colour or a few shades darker? Or was it lighter? Was she even brunette? Did she wear glasses that were rounded or squared? Was she even his mother? Did Lloyd ever actually meet her? Or was she just what he imagined his mother would look like?

It had terrified him then, the idea that his single most cherished memory (at the time) was a lie he had crafted to comfort himself when faced with the reality that she wasn’t coming back. Somehow, the idea that he had never seen her face before she abandoned him hurt worse than the abandonment itself.

Which was why he had almost sobbed with relief when they were reunited, because while some things were different (her hair was fully grey now, her wrinkles were deeper and her glasses were thicker and she seemed to have a perpetual squint, a lifetime of reading by candlelight taking its toll no doubt). It was still her, she was real, his memories were real, he had a mother.

… He had a mother.

A mother who had held him in her arms once upon a time, then used those same arms to pass him into the hands of a group of private surgeons, then again to the dean of the boarding school, those same arms that never came back to carry him away, or hold him when he was frightened (which was often), or soothe his fevers, or hold his hand.

He had a mother, and she had given him up.

Not even to a proper orphanage either, she went out of her way to drop him off at an evil private boarding school that groomed children to lead crime families or become supervillains.

All this to try and stop him and his father from killing each other. And it didn’t even work.

_{‘It didn’t even work.’}

There was a lot of talking after they reunited, and a lot of tears, but the important thing was, by the end of it, Lloyd had a mother again.

And it was… good.

Lloyd always thought that reuniting with his mother would be explosive, life changing, his entire world would tilt on its axis with the weight of her presence. But it didn’t, they talked, they cried, they read together when she was there and exchanged infrequent letters when she wasn’t, she was just… around.

Also the weird tension she had with his uncle at the start certainly didn’t help. Lloyd was so glad they seemed to have moved on from that, he genuinely thinks he would have lost his mind.

Lloyd didn’t know how to voice the feelings he had carried inside him back then, and he still didn’t now. And even if he did, it was far too late to talk about it, that was years ago, trying to talk about it now would only be dredging up old wounds, it wasn’t worth it.

_{‘Are you sure about that?’}

“-oyd? Lloyd!”

The box in his hands thunked against the floor of the cargo hold as he whipped around to face Pixal, who was standing right behind him with a vaguely worried expression.

“Lloyd? Are you alright? I was calling for you, but you failed to respond.”

Lloyd swallowed roughly and willed his heart to slow down. “Yeah, I’m fine, Pixal”. He averted his eyes. “Sorry, I was just… Lost in thought”.

Pixal’s eyes widened. “Ah. I see, was it about”. Her eyes darted about quickly. “The mission?”

Now listen, Lloyd may be a little dense sometimes, but even he knew what Pixal was trying to imply here.

She was asking him if he was thinking about Harumi, which he wasn’t then, but he quickly decided that she was a much better topic to linger on rather than his relationship with his mother.

“Yeah…” he replied, still coming out of his own head. “I think being out of the monastery will do her good, y'know? She doesn’t do well with being cooped up.”

Pixal quirked an eyebrow. “And I'm assuming she told you this little factoid?”

“Not directly, no, but she let me know in other ways.” If her sneaking out of the imperial palace when they first met didn’t give away her restless nature, her constantly trying to worm her way out of bed to walk on her still-healing leg sure did.

Pixal’s eyes narrowed knowingly. “I see…” She trailed off.

“Cmon, Pix, what is it?”

“Nothing, it’s just that you two seem rather close, despite being enemies until relatively recently.” She answered conspiratorially.

“Well, yeah. We’ve been sharing a room for around a month and a half, some closeness was bound to happen.” Why did it feel like Pixal was trying to lead up to something?

“Mhm…”

“Pixal please, stop beating around the bush and just tell me.”

“Alright, I was attempting to handle this ‘delicately’ but I will stop.” Pixal placed a hand on his shoulder. “Lloyd…”

“How long have you and Harumi been in a relationship?”

Lloyd felt the exact moment her words registered in his brain, because his brain then stopped working.

“I-wuh-I-I don’t-I-you-wh-I mean-I-uh-huh???” Lloyd stammered, his voice cracking and stammering like a young teen in the throes of puberty, His fingers twitching as his body did a full restart to try and form a coherent thought.

This continued for over a minute, Pixal waiting patiently as Lloyd struggled to respond.

“Pixal. We're not dating.” He grit out, his cheeks flaming red.

Pixal blinked in genuine surprise. “Oh! You are not together?”

“No? Why? Did you think we were?” Lloyd asked, bewildered.

“Zane informed me of your amorous feelings for her when you were still acting as her guard, and I had made a logical assumption that due to your extended time together and both of your behaviour towards each other that at some point after her rescue your feelings had been reciprocated.”

“Oh. Ok” Lloyd said, his mind reeling, because what did she mean by ‘their behaviour towards each other?’

Look, Lloyd may have been just the tiniest bit dense when it came to his feelings, but he wasn’t stupid, he knew he still had feelings for Harumi, simmering low in his gut like smoldering coals, warming his blood and cooking his brain whenever she got too close, but he also knew that he could never, ever, tell her this.

_‘Never?’

Never. Because right now, he effectively held Harumi’s life in his hands, a sword of Damocles was hanging over her head and Lloyd was the one who controlled whether it swung. And even when everything was over, when she was healed and free to leave (leave him) There would still be that weight.

If Lloyd tells her that he loves her, Harumi will see it as a noose around her neck that she has to navigate, because to her, Lloyd loving her meant she was expected to give something back, because all her relationships after her birth parents were transactional, so why would their relationship be any different?

Harumi would feel like she had to reciprocate in exchange for Lloyd healing her and letting her stay. Harumi would feel like not reciprocating would put her in danger, because it was Lloyd’s room she was semi-bedridden in, It was Lloyd’s powers helping her heal, It was Lloyd’s resources and connections keeping her from the police. As much as neither of them liked to admit it, Lloyd was the one who held the power between the two of them. And though she would never admit it, Lloyd knew it scared her.

It scared him too.

_‘So?’

So if Lloyd told her he loved her, there would always be an imbalance between them, they would never be able to stand on equal ground, and they would both be miserable.

So no, Lloyd would never tell her, and keep his feelings deep down in his gut where they would sit and burn where no one would see.

_{‘Until they cook a hole through you, that is.’}

But Lloyd obviously wasn’t going to tell Pixal any of this, so he smiled and laughed and went back to packing.

_{‘You can’t push it all down forever. Sooner or later, it’s all going to come back up, whether you're ready or not, you know that as well as I do.’}

Lloyd scratched behind his ear, growling in annoyance at the tiny buzz in the back of his mind, like a mosquito buzzing just out of sight. If he focused, he could almost hear words, but it was like trying to hear someone whisper in the next room over.

So Lloyd just grabbed another crate and started hauling again.

~🩸~

Harumi wrung her hands as she watched the little robot hover about the room.

It was the dead of night, the witching hour, the bounty was ready to take off tomorrow, all that was left was to get her on board.

By sneaking her past a monastery full of sleeping ninja, who would gladly take her out if given the chance.

No pressure.

Lloyd had snuck out into the hallway to triple-check that the coast was clear, leaving Harumi alone with her Mini-Pix.

She was a strange looking thing, roughly the size and shape of a can of paint, flexible metal tubes for arms that ended in two-pronged pincers, rocket thrusters for legs, a simple screen display for a face, and strangest of all, a wig of silver hair, styled after her creators ponytail.

The tiny robot had decided to stick around after cleaning up the room, helping and tending to her whenever Lloyd was busy or simply required an extra pair of hands. Pixal had called her ‘Number 7’ but Harumi had decided to call her ‘Pixi’ instead. Both because it felt weird referring to her as a number, and also because it annoyed Pixal.

Harumi pulled up the tablet that was resting on her lap, checking the information Pixal had laid out for her, where they would be staying, contacts they should meet up with, potential leads they could chase. Disguise kits Pixal had prepped for her.

Even though Harumi had been declared legally dead, having a woman walking around Domu with them who happened to look and sound exactly like a dead terrorist might attract unwanted attention, so: Disguises. Nothing crazy, just some box dye, coloured contacts, a new wardrobe and a fake id, but it would be enough.

It was while Harumi was contemplating whether she would go brunette or redhead that Lloyd returned. There were no words exchanged, just a simple nod and Harumi was upright, leaning against Lloyd for support with her arm around his neck as they quietly shuffled out into the hallway, Pixi hovering behind them, Harumi’s tablet clutched tight in her hands.

The silence was heavy around them, every ‘creak’ of the floorboards rang out like a gunshot. Harumi felt her pulse quicken in her chest. They were passing the loungeroom now, just some more hallway, then the kitchen, and they would reach the elevator down to the underground hangar and Harumi would hide in the Bounty while Lloyd went back up to his room to wait until morning for his ‘send off’ by the team, just a little longer and they were scott free.

On paper, anyway.

Harumi felt a tremor run up her good leg, even though she had been exercising when she could, she had still spent the better part of several weeks bedridden, and it showed. Her muscles had atrophied, and even though Lloyd’s healing seemed to be helping her recover the lost muscle mass, she was still so weak.

She felt a curdle of disgust at being reduced to such a state, to think that at one point she was able to conquer Ninjago, now? She didn’t think she could even conquer an anthill.

Not for the first time, she wondered if maybe it would’ve been better to have died in the rubble, it certainly would’ve saved her a lot of hassle.

But then she looked next to her as Lloyd carefully navigated them around the island of the kitchen that was stuck half-in half-out of the hallway, And the way he held himself so he was keeping her good leg steady, offering her support. And how Lloyd had been doing that the entire time she’d been here, offering her support, keeping her steady, holding her up when she crumbled, offering that same awkward, sincere smile that made her insides fizz every time.

And she thinks that maybe surviving wasn’t so bad.

Still a hassle, though.

The floor creaked behind them.

Harumi stiffened as Lloyd and Pixi froze at her sides.

The floor creaked again, and again and again in a pattern. Footsteps.

Someone was coming.

Lloyd swung her around to the other side of the kitchen island, giving her and Pixi just enough time to duck down behind it before the hallway light flicked on.

“Lloyd?... What're you doing up?” Kai slurred tiredly, rubbing one eye as he stood in the hall.

“Oh, Kai! Uh, I-I could-uh” Lloyd leaned against the kitchen island in an attempt to look casual. He cleared his throat “I could say the same to you”. His smile twitched at the corners as his ears picked up the faint whirring of Pixi’s cooling fans and sent a silent prayer to the First Master that Kai wouldn’t notice.

Kai yawned. “Woke up and had to take a leak, then I realised I was thirsty so I came to get some water” He scratched his stomach and made to round the kitchen island to reach the sink. “So how about you?” He asked.

Lloyd jumped in front of him. “I got it!” He quickly dashed to the sink and filled a glass, sparing a seconds glance to Harumi and Pixi, who were huddled next to a large stack of pots and pans, handles sticking out haphazardly.

He handed Kai the filled glass and tried to ignore the way his brother blinked at him in concern.

“Lloyd” Kai sounded much more awake than he did a second ago. “Are you doing okay?”

Lloyd squeaked out an “I'm fine!” but by then Kai had already sat down at one of the island's barstools and was motioning for Lloyd to join him, and Lloyd knew by then that there was no getting out of this now.

He just hoped Harumi and Pixi could hold out for a little bit longer.

Kai gently clapped a hand on his shoulder, taking a generous swig of his glass of water before speaking. “Now, who don’t you tell me what's really bothering you?”

Lloyd fidgeted in his seat. “I guess I'm just… nervous I guess”

Kai motioned for him to continue.

Lloyd decided it was better to tell the truth than cook up a lie on the spot.

“Well, it’s just that Master Wu has been having these visions for weeks now, and it’s just been building and building, and I know he said it didn’t feel like The Overlord, but that still doesn’t mean it’s isn’t something that could be just as bad or worse and-”

“-And I’m worried something might happen to you guys while I'm gone” Lloyd hated how weak his voice had become as he said that last part, it was wholly unfitting of a leader.

Kai patted his shoulder. “I get that, But we can take care of ourselves for a little while, and Borg is checking over our defences to make sure they're all good, but are you sure you only want Pixal with you in Domu? You’ve never been there before, I’m sure Wu won’t be too mad if me and Nya sneak on board” He grinned.

Lloyd smiled back at him. “I’ll be okay Kai, really, just talking to you about this helped a ton.”

And it was true! Talking about some of the other worries plaguing his mind made the weight of his secrets that much easier to bear.

“And you’ll keep talking to me about this sort of stuff if you need to while you're gone, yeah?”

“Yeah, I will,” Lloyd pulled him into a side hug, “thanks Kai.”

Kai returned it. “No Problem Lloyd.” And then he got up and turned to leave.

Lloyd breathed a sight of relief.

And then he nearly choked on it as he was startled by the almighty clatter of several pots and pans falling to the floor.

He bolted around the kitchen island in time to see Harumi curled up in the corner where the cabinets intersected, her hands clapped over her ears with her eyes shut tight, Pixi protecting her head to the best of her ability. Cookware scattered around them both.

Kai’s head whipped around to stare at him.

No one moved.

Lloyd felt his heart beating against his chest like the wings of a hummingbird.

Kai squinted suspiciously, then, before Lloyd could even begin to think of a way to get him to leave, Kai took a deep breath.

And groaned in annoyance.

“Ugh, Zane must’ve put Jay in charge of stacking the pans after dinner again, I don’t know why he keeps doing that, Jay always stacks them wrong and they always fall out of the cupboard, like seriously, we’ve lived together for nearly ten years now and Jay has never once stacked the pans right” He inclined his head towards Lloyd. “You want me to help you clean up?”

His eyes flicked over to Harumi, who had cracked one of hers open to peek at him.

“Oh! Uh-no! It’s fine, I got it! You can just head back to bed!”

Kai looked at him strangely for a second, like he was searching for something. “You're sure?”

“Yep! I’m sure”

The searching look vanished, Kai’s shoulders relaxed, he yawned. “Alright then, good night Lloyd.”

“Good night, Kai.”

Lloyd watched as his brother turned back down the hallway from where he came, not daring to move before he heard the door to his bedroom slide shut.

With the coast clear he dashed over to Harumi, kneeling at her side. “You ok?” he asked breathlessly, adrenalin still coursing through him at almost being discovered. Pixi beeped reassuringly as she moved to hover beside them both.

“Yeah I'm” Harumi swallowed thickly. “I’m fine” She winced as she took in the pots and pans scattered on the floor. “Sorry about that.”

Lloyd took it in as well, before looking back at her with a smile. “Don’t be, it was an accident, plus I’m pretty sure what Kai said about Jay’s stacking skills was right” That, at least, got her to relax a little.

The three of them worked quickly, Lloyd and Pixi grabbing everything before handing it off to Harumi to place back in the cupboard. And soon the cleaning was done and they could continue on to the elevator.

Harumi slumped in relief as the elevator doors shut and it started its descent, she had transitioned from holding Lloyd’s shoulders to gripping the railing attached to the wall, gingerly resting her bad foot on the floor, careful to keep weight off it as she let the muscles of her thigh relax. No one spoke, everyone was too frazzled or tired to muster the effort after almost getting caught, right now all Harumi wanted was to get on the ship and hide in a dark corner and not even think about moving before they were outside the city limits.

Pixie had plugged herself into the small access panel underneath the elevator buttons, scrambling the security camera in real time so that it showed anyone that checked later that the elevator had never been used that night.

The doors opened to the empty hangar, Pixal had elected to spend the night at Borg tower with her father, so there was no one else there as they made their way to the central platform. And from there it was a quick walk up the gangplank and into the Bounty proper.

Lloyd led them deeper, Pixi activating the flashlight function of her screen as they descended into the quiet bowels of the ship.

It was abundantly clear as they walked that the ship was indeed brand new like Pixal said. There wasn’t any dust in the hard to reach places- the spots where it was impossible to clean properly, like the corners where the ceiling met the wall- And all the appliances in the small galley kitchen were shiny and untouched, the fridge was empty, but the pantry and freezer chest were stocked with long lasting fare and frozen meals respectively. The wood of the ship was treated and the varnish was glossy and the air carried the smell of plastic that always accompanied the task of unpacking deliveries.

They reached the sleeping quarters, quickly ducking into one of the doors, still afraid of being seen even now. Harumi huffed and panted as Lloyd and Pixi helped her to her bed, and it was HER bed, not hers and Lloyd’s, the first thing Harumi had asked for when Pixal asked them what they might need for their voyage was her own room.

Now, Lloyd was by no means a bad roommate, but as Harumi’s body had healed and her mobility improved, she had grown increasingly frustrated with her lack of independence while she was with him, his insistence to do everything for her, while nice, had started to chafe.

Putting it bluntly, she needed some space.

Pixal and Lloyd had agreed, (though Lloyd looked somewhat guilty, probably thinking he had somehow upset her), with the only caveat being that Pixi would stay with her, just so she could notify Pixal in case she started to take a turn for the worse (and, also so Pixal could keep a not-so-subtle eye on her), Which Harumi didn’t mind all that much, the little drone had grown on her in their short time together.

Harumi scooted back and laid down on the bed, giving Lloyd a small nod, he returned it, then left to make his way back upstairs to his room so the other ninja could give him a ‘proper goodbye’ in the morning.

And as the door to Lloyd's room quietly slid shut, unbeknownst to anyone but him, Kai lay uneasy in his bed, contending with the knowledge that his little brother was hiding something.

~🩸~

Lloyd stood on the deck of the bounty, his face turned into the cold wind as they sailed through the sky, tousling his hair and chilling his lungs. It was thinner this high up, but he’d spent enough time at altitude over his life that it didn’t affect him.

The same could not be said for another occupant of the ship, however.

Harumi huffed as she made her way out of the quarterdeck and over to where Lloyd was, her new crutches clacking against the wood. She’d hidden it well the first she stayed on the bounty back when she was in ‘princess mode’ as Lloyd called it, but it was clear to him now that she was having some altitude sickness, nothing too bad, just some general queasy-ness and pressure headaches that should level out in a day or two. It was kind of endearing, watching her soldier on.

Lloyd was so proud of her.

Harumi leaned against the ship's rails, watching as the city shrank into the horizon behind them, her shoulder length hair being stirred by the breeze, a neutral look on her face. She’d never had any particularly strong feelings for Ninjago city, at best it was a stepping stone on her plans for world domination, and at worst, its shining neon lights were a constant reminder of how quickly the world moved on from tragedy, that the deaths of her parents and so many others were brushed past and buried like the remains of the old city in the sake of building ‘a better future’ after The Overlord. Harumi was still shell-shocked from her first apocalypse when it happened, she hardly even remembered it, except for the end, where a shining mote of light killed a giant corpse-looking dragon and saved the world.

A mote of light that stood next to her in human form. She turned to look at him, seeing Lloyd smiling under the morning sunlight, and felt a low warmth bloom in her chest. Utterly content at the moment.

That was soon ruined by a sudden coughing fit.

Lloyd put a hand on her shoulder as she sputtered. “I-I’m fine” she wheezed unconvincingly. “Cold air” She cleared her throat as she got her breathing under control, sniffing and wiping a small amount of spit from her lip as she did.

They went back to watching the skyline, and Harumi ignored the still lingering itch in the back of her throat.

End notes